cursor by ofsquidgyandkellin! Liz From Mars
  • me: watching tv show
  • me: looks down at phone for 0.002 seconds
  • me: misses entire plot line of episode, introduction of 2 new characters, 1 main character dies, they are in a different country, at some point someone reproduced and offspring are spoiled and someone got a pet cat
327,419 notes
A Guide to Terminology as used by Western Males of the Species

thescienceofjohnlock:

societyghost:

Prude - a woman who won’t fuck you

Dyke - a woman who won’t fuck you because you have a penis

Slut - a woman who fucks other people and not you

Tease - a woman who won’t fuck you even though she smiled at you

Feminist - a woman who won’t fuck you because she has, like, thoughts and stuff

Bitch - a woman who treats you the same as you treat women

(via funnyandphosisticated)

240,034 notes

soras-majestic-butt:

do you ever catch yourself thinking of something so weird and fucked up that you have to stop mid-thought and your face is

image

(Source: soras-spooky-butt, via funnyandphosisticated)

79,062 notes
  • what I say: nice shirt
  • what I mean: duDE I'M IN THAT FANDOM
86,008 notes
TRYING TO PUT ON EYELINER

letgoat:

college-life-crisis:

The first eye:

image

The second eye:

image

i have never seen a more accurate post

(via jutibeutel)

181,382 notes